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Lagos massage parlours where sex is ‘after-service’ bonus

Some people say that passion often flows when a man and a woman are left in a room long enough. This seems to be true of some service jobs that pitch both sexes together as service providers and clients.

Dalliance between male hairstylists and female clients

Kunle Olutayo, a male hair stylist, gets an average of ten female customers a day.

Although not bad in terms of good looks, Olutayo grew up as a shy little boy, particularly around girls until his painful fortune changed about seven years ago when he became a hairstylist. Shortly after starting the job following a six months’ training, Olutayo could not believe his luck.

With an endless string of female customers, he no longer had to worry about his failing nerves since some of his female customers were woman enough to take the initiative.

Olutayo was busy fixing the hair of one of his numerous female customers when our correspondent visited the salon he shares with four other stylists around the famous Ikeja Under-bridge in Lagos.

As he attached a weave-on to the customer’s hair, the two joked about the lady’s receding hairline. Some of the customer’s hair was falling off at the front and Olutayo teased her about it being one of the signs of old age.

Olutayo is close to many of his customers and has dated a few, even though he repeatedly described it as bad for business. When he was still new on the job, he was overwhelmed by the surplus number of women he encountered daily and so indulged himself when he could.

However, Olutayo has since learnt a few lessons.

“This job is not for womanisers. If you’re a womaniser, stay away from this job because you will continue to lose money. When I first started the job, it exposed me to so many women for the first time. I used to be very shy but on this job, I met women who seduced me. Some of the women would seduce their stylists to avoid paying for the service, which also means not paying on subsequent visits.

“So a womaniser has a lot to lose as a hairstylist. Now, I’ve learnt my lesson, I no longer sleep with my clients anyhow. I only date one lady customer now and that limits my loss. Before now, I used to forgo a lot of money to female customers that I had affairs with,” he said.

Explaining how his seducers perform their act, Olutayo demonstrated with his eyes, feigning sexual interest and willingness and hands, rubbing on our correspondent, who had briefly assumed the role of a stylist.

“The women won’t open their mouths to say they want any hairstylist, but once they are seated and you’re about to start fixing their hair, they can say they don’t have money and need to fix their hair for an important occasion, or say they can only afford an amount not up to half the price of the materials to be used and the service.

“While they are appealing, they are caressing you with their hands and looking at you with funny eyes (seductively). Some may call ahead to say they don’t have money. In such cases, negotiations can be done over the phone.

“If I’m interested, I only have to tell the customer that I’ve always liked her and ask for her affection in return. Almost 100 per cent of the time, they are open to an arrangement or rendezvous that could later lead to a hotel room,” he said sheepishly.

Special hotel booking called ‘short time,’ which is for an hour or two, is usually used for such rendezvous.

Saturday PUNCH findings reveal that many of the male hairstylists who actively womanise often fall under two categories- those who are new on the job and those who could not complete their apprenticeship for some reason.

A source explained that the newcomers are too inexperienced to deal with the temptations associated with their new job, while those in the other category are too grateful for their fortune in spite of their inability to complete their training that they over-indulge themselves in their good fortune.

“I look at some of them (hairstylist womanisers) and I shake my head. They lose in so many ways because if the customer cannot pay for the weave-on, the stylists may have to use their own weave-on as well, fix the hair free of charge, pay N1,500 or N2,000 for the ‘short time’ they will spend at the hotel with the customer, possibly buy drinks there and even miss one or two other customers that will call at their shops while they are away,” said Segun, a male hairstylist with eight years’ experience.

Although, the category of women who visit male hairstylists range from students to workers in practically all fields, from Olutayo’s experience, the women who are open to such dalliances are usually those referred to as club girls.

A cross section of male hairstylists said the next category of women usually open to having romance with them are single mothers. But with the single mothers, male hairstylists need not worry about not getting paid.

For instance, a male hairstylist, who identified himself as Johnson, narrated his experience with a female customer he once had a sexual affair with.

According to Johnson’s account, his romance with the woman started after his third visit to her Lekki residence for home service. Johnson does home service for customers who are willing to pay extra which has been factored in due to the distance, transportation cost and so on.

“The woman never negotiated any amount I charged and she always paid me.

“It started innocently when she asked me to come and fix her hair at home, before it later graduated to sex. She was a single mother with one daughter, so she usually asked me to come in the morning when her daughter would be in school,” Johnson said.

Johnson added that he had noticed that a lot of his older female customers like to date young boys judging by their discussions at the salon, jokingly, describing salons as homes of gossips and rumours.

Most women confirmed that they prefer male hairstylists to their female counterparts in a poll conducted by our correspondent.

‘I’m in love with male hairstylists’

One of the respondents who identified herself as Nkem, admitted to having fantasised about dating her “handsome male hairstylists” countless times but couldn’t bring herself to initiate a move.

“I actually go to the salon that I use because of the male hairstylists. They are very handsome and sometimes I wish that one of them would ask me out but it has not happened yet. I think male hairstylists are better than the female ones because a man would know what fits you better than a woman,” she said.

Another place that promises an abundance of passion is a massage parlour because it usually pitches both sexes together alone.

Visiting massage parlours for the wonders of the experienced hands of masseurs and masseuses is not yet a popular pastime in the country, however, the trend is growing by the day.

The idea of having a massage is therapeutic. It also helps the client to relax and be released of stress and body pains, but investigation shows that often times in Nigeria, clients wish for more than stress and pain relief. Our findings show that many male clients get sexually aroused and get an erection within a few minutes of body massage.

Happy hour

A cross section of masseuses said many of the clients who visit their parlours ask for ‘happy hours’ or ‘happy ending massages.’ These are erotic massages that end with hand jobs, blow jobs or sex.

“When some of the clients come in, they ask, ‘do you do happy hour or happy ending’ and we say no. The best thing is not to start what you won’t be able to finish; so we tell them that we don’t do such things here, but I know that some massage parlours do it abroad,” said Franca Oriakhi, the Managing Director of World Beauty Salon and Spa, Surulere, Lagos.

Another beauty therapist, Ruth Zobeashia of Rutiana Perfection Parlour, Ikeja in Lagos, also shared similar experiences on the job.

Zobeashia, who has had over 10 years’ experience as a masseuse, said, “Most of the Nigerian men who come here, once they see that it’s a beautiful lady that will attend to them, what goes to their head is sex after five minutes of massage.

“Some of them will say, ‘Can you suck me? Can you make me come? I will pay you extra for doing it.’ I tell them that we don’t offer anything beyond massage here. When I explain to them that I can’t do it, then they stop visiting. What most of them want is sex and not massage, really. It’s the whites (foreigners) who really understand the essence of massage and some blacks too that come here,” she said.

Zobeashia recalled how she had to escape through a bathroom window about seven years ago while giving a man a massage. The client had wanted sex also.

Recounting the incident, she said, “We get all kinds of harassment and embarrassment on the job. I was giving a man a massage one day when he insisted that he wanted to have sex with me. I told him that I needed to use the bathroom. It was through the window that I managed to get out.

“Some of the men will say that they have girls who tended to their needs where they used to have massage and so I tell them to go back there. One day, I asked a client demanding for sex if he would be happy if his wife was sleeping with her clients. I was shocked when he replied that he didn’t care, ‘after all, that’s her job.’”

Interestingly, some of the harassments are not limited to male clients, according to Zobeashia, who has received sexual invitations from female clients too. Some female clients who are lesbians also ask to be caressed and erotically fingered in their private regions during massages.

“Lesbians come here and want the same thing the men want. A man having trouble with his marriage once told me that he was advised by a friend to visit a massage parlour to get the sexual satisfaction his wife denied him at home,” she continued with a surprise look on her face.

Investigation indeed shows that some massage parlours offer sexual pleasures in Ikeja, Ikoyi and Lekki areas of Lagos. Many of such parlours keep the information within a circle, largely made up of foreigners.

A Briton who had a chat with our correspondent online named a few spas and massage parlours in Lagos that offer ‘happy hours’ or ‘happy ending’ massages. He also said there were masseurs and masseuses who service clients at home, with massage and sex.

“Some of us in the Nigerian white community patronise these places. Some Nigerians also know about them as well. There is a spa in Lagos with Asian women as masseuses, where clients can pay for what they want. Massage parlours that have happy endings are common in Asia, so maybe that’s why some Nigerians ask for such services here after experiencing it elsewhere,” he commented.

But that is not all; tattooists also deal with temptations from customers of the opposite sex. In Lagos, tattooists are predominantly males and are often required to tattoo on female erotic parts like the breasts, buttocks, thighs and the vagina (the female reproductive part).

Tattooists are seduced by clients too

A tattooist, Abisola Ojikutu of Bizzysaki Tattoo Studio, Ikeja, told our correspondent that he sometimes gets seduced by female clients, but quickly added that in spite of it, he still strives to maintain professionalism on the job.

“I tattoo almost all parts of the body, including body parts of members of the opposite sex because it’s my job. I tattoo their private parts and do breast enlargement and other stuff. Yes, seduction happens because we are humans but I act professionally. And I have to also consider my money, so I act like I’m not moved. Even if a lady seduces me as a tattoo celebrity, we suspend all till after work,” he said.

Lifestyles of sexually connected couples (2)

Many men will give anything for their penis to be sucked. They should tell their wives. So also, many wives want their clitoris to be actively involved and they should inform their husbands. If there is something your partner craves, try to satisfy him or her. They will be more willing then to satisfy yours.

Learn new types of touch. If you just grab your partner the same way every time you want sex, you’re going to wear out your welcome and quickly, too. Touch can be very healing and when you understand that affectionate touch can enhance closeness and trust, you’ll see more passion develop in your relationship.

Be open to new experiences. It is good sometimes to change and be open. This shows that you are attentive, trusting, and curious and you want to grow together. So go ahead, give yourself permission to experiment. You might even surprise yourself as this is one way to explore your sexuality. If that is your own special knowledge of what turns you on, you won’t know unless you try. Passion soars to an unimaginable dimension when spouses validate one another by things like, “You’re a gorgeous lover. Really. Yes could I ask you something? When you kiss my breast, go a little softer. My nipples are raw from your beard and teeth; have you forgotten you are not meant to bring out breast milk? Hmm, you are so remarkable, your rod always beats me hands down.’’

Learn how to apply all types of kisses on the lips, penis, clitoris and breasts. Be a good kisser as kissing promotes intimacy and passion. A deep kiss can express deep love; don’t underestimate its power. The fleeting touch of the lightest kiss can have more meaning than a big, sloppy wet one. Experiment with your kisses and go light, firm, lick, tickle and suck deep. Have real sex; don’t make pornography your yardstick. Movie industry makes people think that passionate sex happens instantly, with three minutes of foreplay and simultaneous orgasms. Pornography is even worse. Nobody could possibly be comfortable in some of those positions, let alone aroused. Never make your bed a stage; one way to spoil a passionate sex is to focus on performance. If you are worried about yourself, how you move, what you look like, whether you are pleasing your spouse like an expert, you’re focusing too much on you and not enough on your spouse. This makes your performance to suffer. Instead, enjoy your experience each moment as it unfolds. Focus on the beautiful touches, amazing sight of, for instance, how your husband’s penis stands rigid when it is erect, or praise the way your wife’s vagina swallows up your penis completely. Make sure passion is your focus, not your performance. Explore the erotic information; this is different from pornography. Pornography serves one purpose: to excite the viewer. Erotic movies, photos, stories, and poems go further. Erotic material explains why someone feels the way they do. Emotions such as love, longing and passion are expressed.

To have passionate sex, you need to take your time and build arousal. Arousal leads to better orgasm. The passion that you see in the movies is choreographed as carefully as any dance. Choreograph your own love to whatever rhythm you wish for more explosive orgasms. Make it a habit to respect each other. Did you know that just a few negative comments, criticism could cause a woman to have difficulty with orgasm or a man to lose his erection? No matter how strong or self-confident they may seem, people are very vulnerable about their sexuality and sexual organs. In a culture where people are expected to be naturally good lovers, sexual confidence is actually quite low. Help build your partner’s sexual confidence at all times in an open, loving, and respectful manner.

It is very important to have sex regularly. Regular sex is a little exercise that is good for your relationship. Research has shown that couples that have regular sex look, on average, 10 years younger than their peers. Regular sex enhances sound sleep, diminishes pain, reduces stress, improves mood and balances hormones.

Sex is more than body parts and friction. Think of love making as a skill; there is always something new to learn. Married couples should always know that being a good lover should come naturally, especially when they relax but more also when they learn. Passionate sex is a journey, not a destination. Sex is not all about orgasm at the end but about the experience that you gain in the process.

Questions and Answers

I always lose erection while putting on condom

We have a peculiar case at hand; all other family planning methods are not okay for my wife. It is either she develops varicose vain or she starts seeing blood all through the month or she vomits and spits all over the place. The only option we are left with is the use of condom but I have discovered that as soon as I put it on, I lose erection. My wife thinks we are under a spell, can this be true?

Mr. Allen Jacobs

No, you are neither under a spell nor are you alone in this type of situation. Some men lose erection during or after putting on a condom. If your wife reacts to chemical or synthetic family planning method, why not try out the female condom instead? Its failure rate is very low when properly inserted and it also offers protection from STDs. It is made from a very thin, lubricated material that doesn’t decrease sensation, and in most cases, it eliminates erection problems.

Sex and flooded nose, are they related?

I notice that each time I have sex, I immediately have flooded nose.

This has been on for a while now. Sometimes I feel very tired, lose taste or smell; everything tastes the same. If I do not quickly use some antibiotics, I will start coughing and develop sore throat, headache, pain and sometimes fever. Must this be so? Can’t I enjoy sex without drugs?

Bashir Baba Bashiru

This may be a sign of sinusitis and it may be as a result of allergy to lots of things such as stuffy air, odour from sweating and some characteristic odour from perfume, body roll-on, vaginal discharge, sperm fluid and so on. Sinuses are like fingerprints, tiny, hair-like structures which help move mucus. Sinus cavities connect to the nose to allow a free exchange of air and mucus. But when these sinuses get infected or when there is a presence of allergies, sinus tissues become inflamed, red, and swollen. Sinusitis usually starts with inflammation triggered by a cold, allergy attack or irritant. Most people have a stuffy nose and pain or pressure in several locations around the face or teeth. There’s usually a nasal discharge that may be yellow, green, or clear. Other symptoms may include fatigue, decreased sense of smell and/or taste, cough, sore throat, bad breath, headache, pain on bending forward, and fever.

You have to try and study the irritation or allergy triggers and avoid them. Besides, try and take some drink like hot tea prior to the time of sex and try to inhale the steam from the tea at the same time. This helps relieve congestion, while swallowing the fluid soothes the throat and keeps you hydrated. Black and green teas have the added bonus of being loaded with disease-fighting antioxidants, which may fight colds. Breathing in menthol or camphor vapours may also help relieve cough or open clogged passages and ease symptoms of congestion. I think it is not wise to use antibiotics as they do not treat viruses. They won’t help the sinus symptoms of a cold. But rather use any mild antihistamines especially for symptoms of sneezing and flooded nose. Pay good attention and make sure it does not become a recurrent thing because chronic sinusitis may be very difficult to treat.

A first step is controlling predisposing factors such as eliminating environmental irritants.

My wife wants sex only during ovulation

Why does my wife feel sexy only during the time of her ovulation even though we are not preparing for more children? I notice that the only time my wife will show sign of wanting sex is whenever she is in her ovulation period. Every other time I have to plead, beg and bribe.

This is a natural way of preparing for pregnancy. Actually when women are ovulating, they’re drawn to men while men are also drawn to women who are ovulating. Besides, her sex drive is also at the peak just before and after she ovulates. Because the oestrogen increases, they respond more to touch too, and find it easy to get aroused. The ovulation also increases more oestrogen which also means more blood flow to the vagina, and more lubricated vagina and less painful sex. This is when they feel hornier than ever and it is natural for them to give all sexual signals.

9 Magic Foods that will Spark up your Sex Life.

Asparagus – That little green vegetable that gets so much flack forwhat it does to the smell of your urine actually has some fantastic powers oversperm. The ridiculously high amount of Vitamin C prevents sperm from oxidizing,and it protects the cells of the testicles. Additionally, Vitamin C decreasesfree radicals so your man’s body can focus on producing sperm instead offighting off disease.

Avocado – Summer is the perfect time to pick up some yummy avocados forguacamole… and a hot night at home. Packed with vitamin E, vitamin B6, andfolic acid, avocados boost sperm motility and give it the strength to penetratean egg.
Bananas – Upon reading that this fruit can help your guy out, we hadsome giggly flashbacks to Drew Barrymore putting a condom on a banana in NeverBeen Kissed. Phallic shape aside, there are some awesome things going on inbananas to help increase sperm count. Bananas have a rare enzyme in them calledBromelain, which has been shown to regulate sex hormones. There’s also a goodamount of vitamin B1, vitamin A, and vitamin C which will help increase hisstamina and boost his body’s ability to make sperm.

Beef – This was a little surprising to us given that doctors areconstantly saying to lay off red meat if you want a healthy heart. Lean beef,though, is a fantastic source of zinc. A little research on the Dr. Oz sitetold us that zinc has protective properties that keep free radicals fromgetting at your man’s little swimmers. In fact, zinc goes even further toprevent testosterone from converting to estrogen, which is the culprit of a lowsex drive.

Dark Chocolate – There’s no sexier food to bring into the bedroom thandark chocolate, but now, it’s not just the seductive taste you’ll want it for.Dark chocolate contains L-Arginine HCL, an amino acid related to the argininein walnuts. It also doubles your guy’s sperm count and semen volume. Men whoeat a little dark chocolate everyday have also noted that they have strongerand more intense orgasms. BONUS: it does that for you, too.

Garlic – Along the same lines as ginseng, garlic possesses the power toincrease blood flow. The chemical allicin not only helps keep plaque frombuilding up in the arteries, it also improves the flow of blood to the genitalsand boosts the strength and endurance of the sperm. Garlic also containsselenium and vitamin B6 to prevent sperm damage and regulate hormones.
Ginseng – Dr. Oz recommends ginseng for guys who are dealing with lessthan impressive bedroom scenarios, but a little more online research tells usthat men in Asia have been supplementing ginseng into their diets for centuriesbecause it improves virility. In fact, ginseng increases libido, sexualperformance, and aids in blood flow to the testicles. In a study at SouthernIllinois University, 45 men with erectile dysfunction were put on a ginsengregimen, and at 16 weeks, 60% of those men reported having stronger erections.

Oysters – The fact that oysters are an aphrodisiac was first presentedto me in the form of Sex in the City. The process of feeding to each other andsucking down the slimy little things really gets people going. Did you know theyalso have sperm count increasing benefits? A good portion of a sperm cell iscomposed of zinc, which oysters are relatively high in. Eating oysters can notonly increase sperm production but it can aid in the repair of damaged sperm.

Pomegranate – This is the most super of all super foods. It seems likeit can truly cure whatever ails you from the common cold to low sperm count.Because of the intense cocktail of antioxidants in pomegranates, the juice canlower a chemical in the blood called malondialidehyde. That chemical destroyssperm, so drinking pomegranate juice is like putting a super hero cape on allthose sperm so they can destroy the evil free radicals and get to the egg justin time.

Walnuts- In high school, we were given acomparison between the size of a walnut and a testicle. Strangely enough, sizeis not the only link between them. Walnuts contain arganine, which helps thetesticles to increase sperm production and also aids in semen volume increase.It also contains Omega-3 fatty acids which improve the blood flow to the penis.These nuts also have twice the antioxidant power over other nuts so they do agreat job of protecting the little guys, too. BONUS: eating 7 walnuts a daylowers cholesterol and the risk of heart disease.

WITCHES WARN TINUBU, OSHIOMHOLE AND EMIRE OF KANO , IMPENDING TROUBLE,

Witches-new
Worried by the socio-economic challenges facing the country, especially the nation’s state of insecurity, witches and wizards in the country recently held an emergency meeting at Afuze, Edo State Making this revelation in an exclusive interview with Saturday Sun in Lagos on Wednesday, leader and spokesman, Witches and Wizards Association of Nigeria, (WITZAN), Dr. Okhue Iboi said the emergency meeting held by his members was not only aimed at discussing the various challenges confronting the nation but also to chart a way forward. “Witches and Wizards in Nigeria are deeply worried by what is going on in the country especially Boko Haram insurgency. As stakeholders in the Nigerian project, we can no longer afford to fold our hands while the nation burns. Enough is enough”, he declared. While saying that the Boko Haram issue was one of the key issues discussed at their meeting, Iboi said it was witches and wizards from Borno, Adamawa and Yobe states that urged the association to convene the emergency meeting. According to him: “Our bi-annual meeting was actually supposed to come up in first week of October, but our fellow brothers and sisters from these three North eastern states made passionate appeal to our general assembly imploring us to discuss Boko Haram matter. Witches and wizards in Adamawa. Borno and Yobe states want us to intervene, to help cage Shekau and his blood-thirsty lieutenants” Speaking on the outcome of their deliberations, the 55-year-old wizard said the days of Abubakar Shekau, Boko Haram leader were numbered. According to him, Shekau will be captured before the end of December, and paraded on the streets of Abuja and Maiduguri for the whole world to see. “We witches and wizards in Nigeria have sealed the fate of Shekau. His days are numbered. He will be captured before the end of December, and contrary to the image and impression he has been creating that he is a warrior, after his capture, he will start singing like a canary bird.” Not done yet, Iboi, further said that Shekau, upon his arrest, will mention some powerful people who are his sponsors. “An ordinary eye can’t see what we are seeing in the coven world. Witches and wizards have put Shekau on our radar. There is no peace for him again until the day of his arrest,” he said. Urging Nigerians to remain steadfast and not to panic, the witches spokesman added that the parents of the missing Chibok girls will soon have cause to smile. “Those girls are coming back home. They will be rescued, but it is sad that I have to say here that not all of them are coming back. They are not being held in the same place, some are in Niger, and some are in Cameroon while others are in Chad and Nigeria” , he added. Iboi, who said Nigerians should not doubt the witches’ declaration or revelations on the state of affairs in Nigeria, said: “This is not the first time we will be coming out to speak about the nation. Five years ago, this was in 2010, when Nigerians were preparing for 2011 general elections, especially the presidential poll, we came out to warn General Ibrahim Babangida and former Vice President, Alhaji Atiku Abubakar not to contest against President Goodluck Jonathan, that Jonathan will floor them. What happened after these two eminent Nigerians disobeyed us, they lost in a disgraceful manner to Jonathan. Our warning to IBB and Atiku came out in one or two national dailies.” Continuing, he said: “In November last year, during one of our meetings, it was revealed to us that former CBN governor Lamido Sanusi would be unceremoniously removed from office, many people then labelled us fakes but what happened thereafter? Sanusi was ignominiously removed from office without completing his tenure. “That time we also said that some PDP top notchers that decamped to APC would come back to PDP, did this not also come to pass? Witches don’t speak from both sides of the mouth, and what is not revealed to us in our meetings, we will never say it was revealed to us. We seldom speak out on national issues, we only speak when it is necessary to do so, and we do so out of patriotism”. On other national issues which they discussed, Iboi said the newly installed Emir of Kano, Sanusi Lamido should not rejoice yet. According to him: “What we see before Sanusi is myriad of woes. His road will be rough. Turbulent days lie ahead of him, he should not rejoice yet. He will experience trouble within and outside the emirate. His enemies are many, and to make matters worse for him, he had stepped on powerful toes. He needs all the prayers in this world to survive the turmoil looming before him.” On the nation’s political landscape, Iboi said Edo State governor, Adams Oshiomhole was standing on a shaky ground. “ It appear as if Oshiomhole is a master political strategist but the crisis currently happening in Edo State will snowball into a bigger crisis that may see Oshiomhole being swept away from office. You can call it a political tornado or Tsunami. Comrade governor should be vigilant,” he said. For APC national leader, Asiwaju Bola Ahmed Tinubu, the witches said: “Tinubu will be betrayed. He will be sold out by those he trusted. This betrayal will affect his political empire. Tinubu’s political dynasty is under threat of crumbling. Tinubu is a good man, but the bitter truth he must swallow today is that APC is going nowhere. Many top notchers of PDP that are in APC now will go back to PDP. Witches said so in November last year and it happened. I’m telling the whole world again today that many former PDP leaders that are now in APC will betray Tinubu and other APC leaders, they will go back to PDP this year, and before 2015 general elections.” On the anxiety over 2015, Iboi urged Nigerians to remain calm. “Nigerians should rejoice. This nation will not break up. Witches and wizards carried out some intercessory spiritual work in Arusa, Tanzania, and New Delhi, in India over this issue, and luckily our brethren, that is fellow witches there, joined hands with us, and it was resolved that Nigeria should not break up. Forget about any American prediction, Nigeria will not break up. There may be pockets of crisis here and there, but they will be election related violence.” On 2015 general elections, the witches said President Goodluck Jonathan will win. “Jonathan will win re-election. Although there will be pockets of violence, Jonathan will win. I will also have to appeal to Buhari and Tinubu, they should not waste their money, time and energy on the poll. They should go home and rest. They should forget about becoming President or Vice President of Nigeria. APC will still lose more governors to PDP before this year runs out”. Asked why other witches and wizards don’t come out or hold their meeting in the open, Iboi laughed, cleared his throat before blunting out. “You speak like a small pikin. Witches are like spirits. We are invisible. It is only those that operate in the spiritual realm that can see us either when we are meeting or going for assignment. I was born a witch. I inherited witchcraft from my mother when I was in her womb, from the age of 7 I started seeing unborn babies in their mothers’ womb, and I could predict with precision of sex of an unborn child whether it is a boy or girl. When I was born, I was born with a leaf in my hand, and starting from the age of 5, I started healing people like a grown-up herbalist.” On the issues of witches being blood- thirsty, and suckling blood, Iboi said: “Those are bad witches, in our own association; we are white witches, and white wizards. We are here to save people. We don’t kill, we counter bad witches and neutralize them whenever they are on their evil mission.” While saying that another meeting of witches and wizards is slated for Damaturu the capital of Yobe State in October, Iboi said the meeting will review the outcome of the one held at Afuze, so as to enable witches to know what action and steps to be taken next. “To add to that, we are also converging on Damaturu as a sign of solidarity with our members, and also people and government of Yobe State that we are with them in the hour of crisis. The Boko Haram insurgency has become an open sore, and we are also joining efforts with government and other stakeholders to contain Shekau and his fellow blood-thirsty followers.”

Lifestyles of sexually connected couples (1)

I have over the years discovered that some sexuality habits have been the bedrock to good sexual relationships and many wise couples have adopted them to the advantage of their unions. When you deliberately make these a reality, your marriage will not lack sexual flavour also.

During sex, pay passionate attention to your spouse. In the moments of lovemaking, there is nothing more important than your eyes, your lips, and spouse’s. The best sex happens when the world falls away, and you are the only two beings that matter. And when the world really does fall away, you’ll be one being, delighting in each other’s bodies, minds, and souls. Remember there is always a place for everything and everything must be in place. Passion has its place which is clean and uncluttered. The sheets are fresh. The pillows are plump. The laundry is inviting. If you are or your spouse is a lover of music, let it be pleasant, spicy, slow or hot, either in your bedroom, where the door is locked, or where every other person including the children have been sorted out. So, your hearts can open fully to each other.

However, do not limit your place of passion to the bedroom. Passion can take place in the living room, the kitchen, the pantry, the backyard, the holiday inn, wherever you and your lover connect. Be playful, sometimes sex can be serious if you are making love for the first time after a stressful period, or when you’re just not in the mood. Make a funny sound, stick out your tongue to tease your lover and make sure your lovemaking expresses your feelings. Love without feeling becomes mechanical over time. If you focus on technique instead of feelings, you can feel good, but you may not feel close. You may feel turned on, but you may not feel passion. Remind yourself why you are with your married lover, what makes you care about him or her.

Don’t ever forget that innovation/ novelty is a basic aphrodisiac for passion; libidinal desire ignites when the mind is curious. The excitement of new challenges, flowing into the old and leading into new pathways of ecstasy can be overwhelming. When your sexual script gets tired and desire fades, trying new ways to delight each other can amplify your appetite and your partner’s.

Simple changes can be stimulating, too. Try a new room, a new fragrance, or try a new touch, a new kiss, a new endearment, a new family planning method. Don’t ever undermine the power of good health.

Be Healthy; strength, stamina and flexibility, all enhance the passionate experience. Most people don’t give their sexual health any thought, but passion is in part dependent on how you take care of your body. For men, your fitness affects your erections. When you work out, your body may create more testosterone. Your heart and vascular system are healthier, too, preserving erectile function. For women, your fitness affects your hormonal balance and mood. When you are stressed, your body produces too much cortisol, which affects oestrogen. Fitness also improves serotonin which picks up mood. So fitness is good for your “love muscles.” You’d be amazed what simply losing five per cent of your body weight will do for all of these. You’ll have more energy for lovemaking. You’ll feel better about your body because there is a connection between diet and sex. So, make eating fresh, healthy foods a passion and discover new depths to your enjoyment. Be clean; never be too lazy to get up and brush your teeth, shave, shower, use fragrance to the taste of your spouse, watch out for little sharp things like unkempt fingernails. Be smooth, be touchable and flirtatious.

Like so many things that give rise to passion, lovemaking starts long before you end up in the bedroom. Saying something that only your partner would understand, placing your hand in an unexpected spot on your partner’s body, or looking into his or her eyes with fire can all signal your desire. Everyone loves to be wanted. Flirting lets your partner know just how much. If you want to receive, be willing to give; show interest and be interesting. Passion goes beyond what happens in the bedroom. It starts with what goes on between your ears. Be a good conversationalist and a better listener. Read, listen to current romantic movies, go to new joints in town together, try a new sport or get more involved in one of your partner’s passions. Make sure that whenever you want to say something, it is something valuable. This will make your partner want to be with you, close enough to hear it. The power of passion arises from sharing; the give and take in any relationship is the basis for its sweetness. If there is a way you want to be touched, let your partner know. Then be sure to touch your partner in the way they want to be touched, or kissed, or licked…

Questions and Answers

Caught in the act by my 6 years old

How do I decently explain to a six-year old boy who caught my wife and I in the very act of lovemaking? He did not only catch us but he stayed and watched us till only God knows how long. And this particular day, my wife insisted we should watch some sex movies. Honestly, I felt as if I have failed the boy as a father. Because right after that, he has been asking some funny questions and behaving strange with his younger sister. My fear is that I am not so certain how long he has been sneaking on us or what has been going on between him and his three years old sister. What do I do? And how do I address this issue?

Confused father

Getting caught during a delicate lovemaking moment is a common phenomenon. Many times, couples think they have created enough privacy and think they are alone. When a younger child below the age of three catches parents in the very act, they may interpret sexual situations as Mommy and Daddy fighting. So, it’s important to quickly let your child know that you are not fighting but playing and thereafter make sure all doors are under lock and key.

But older children from age five or six upwards may have more clues into what’s going on and their response is largely determined by their level of sexual exposure and sex education you have provided and your general approach to family issues. So depending on their response, you may just calmly say you were showing your love for each other, that he would understand better when he grew up. Or use that opportunity to start off sex education. As much as you may feel guilty, the deed has been done already. All you need to do is rectify it and not get things mixed up.

Does oral sex on a lady lead to infection?

Does oral sex lead to vaginal infection? I am a very clean and neat fellow; neat and clean to a fault but I am confused each time my husband goes down into me with his mouth, I always get infected with this particular toilet disease. I am over 40 years and I have been to the pharmacy over and over and each time I am infected again and again. I experience itching in my vagina, burning feeling, soreness, and pain during sex and while urination, and a thick, white, irritating vaginal discharge always comes out. I am wondering if this is an STD or he has a bad infection or what?

Chinua Ike

It may likely be yeasts. Most yeast infections are caused by an overgrowth of the Candida albicans fungus. It’s usually present in the vagina and is normally found in the mouth, digestive tract and on the skin and can overgrow in certain conditions. There is a high possibility of you getting infected and re-infected especially during oral sex because your husband’s mouth also harbours a degree of Candida albicans fungus. If you have a vaginal yeast infection, you’re most likely to experience itching in the vaginal area. Other symptoms include a burning sensation, soreness, pain during intercourse and/or during urination, and a thick, white, vaginal discharge. Vaginal yeast infections are caused by bacteria. A vaginal yeast infection isn’t considered a sexually transmitted infection, but about 12 to 15 per cent of men get an itchy rash on the penis after unprotected sex with an infected woman. Uncircumcised men have a greater risk of developing a rash. I will not subscribe to you purchasing over the counter drugs if you suspect you have a yeast infection. I advise you see a doctor. Your symptoms could be something else, and not getting proper treatment can lead to potentially serious complications. Ask your doctor before treating yourself for a yeast infection if you are pregnant, have never been diagnosed with a yeast infection, or get recurrent yeast infections. Most doctors recommend that women not douche at all. Douching changes the acidity level of the vagina and the balance of organisms that live in it. This may give easy access to yeast infection. Wash only the outside of the vagina with warm water and mild soap.

You can reduce your chances of getting a yeast infection by wearing cotton panties, which are cooler than synthetic panties and won’t trap sweat; avoid feminine sprays, which can be irritating. Frequently change your pads during your period and avoid tight panties and jeans. Certain medications¬ including birth control pills, some antibiotics, and steroids can change the acidic balance of the vagina and encourage the growth of yeast, which can lead to a vaginal infection. Since you are over 40 years old, there may be a possibility that you are in your pre-menopause. Menopause causes hormonal changes, which can affect the balance of yeast or bacteria in the vagina and lead to a yeast infection. Recurrent yeast infections may be related to other medical conditions, such as diabetes or HIV, and may require a doctor’s care.

Do men develop breast cancer too?

I have been experiencing pain in my breast lately and a friend suggests I go for a breast examination, saying that men also develop breast cancer.

Jimmy Johnson

While it is rare, breast cancer does occur in men and is often diagnosed at a later age and stage than in women, say some experts. It can strike at any age, but it is most often diagnosed among men at ages 60 to 70. However, breast cancer in men accounts for only 1 per cent of all breast cancer cases and there is little research into its treatments. And most men with breast cancer have painless lumps that can be detected by touch, but the disease usually isn’t diagnosed until they develop soreness.

Sensitivity enhances good sex

Human sexuality is the capacity to have erotic experiences and responses. It is also a way someone is sexually attracted to another person. There is no doubt that sex is good for married lovers, but sex in the atmosphere of love is even better. Husband should start off sex by stimulating his wife’s heart and stop focusing more on manual stimulation. Openness toward one partner leads to the most beneficial kind of sex that a couple can ever imagine. In marriage relationships, passionate sex is the quickest to develop, and the quickest to fade when deep intimacy is lacking, because intimacy develops more slowly, and commitment more gradually while passion develops too fast.

One important outcome of having intimate sex between married lovers is emotional safety. If you feel like your spouse understands you and you understand him or her, you are more prone to showing your true sexual feelings. And if you show your true feelings, closeness and intimacy on all levels will be very obvious in your relationship.

But what is intimacy? Most couples seem to define intimacy as two married lovers engaged in hot and passionate sex, or something very close to this. But the truth is the experience of physical connection between two married lovers is only the culmination of all that is intimate between them. Intimacy is much more than that.

Intimacy is an attitude. It’s how you get along all the time, not only when you’re making love. It has to be continuous in order to be fulfilling, and if you truly want to enjoy great quality lovemaking, the hours outside the bedroom should be spent with the same degree of closeness. Fortunately, achieving that is not impossible. I have a few tricks that I am willing to share with you. You can thank me later.

Sensitivities, consideration, respect and affection should be a mutual give and take in marriage I call this emotional workout for couples. Did you think that bonding happens just like that, without any exterior influence? No. There are plenty of things that you can do to strengthen your relationship. This mutual give and take will help you become relaxed in the presence of each other and attuned to your heart rhythms. It involves a lot of touching because due to the high level of stress a typical Nigerian couple face on a daily basis, I think affectionate touching has a real calming and soothing effect on the psychic of spouses. So on occasion when you both are home together or around each other, lie on your sides with your legs bent so that you fit together like two spoons in a drawer. Once you are snuggled together, lie still, letting go of any tensions and try not to talk or move too much. Breathe heavily and rhythmically and listen to your partner’s breathing at the same time. Close your eyes and let your imagination travel down memory lane when you both were still dating and confessing undying love for each another. You’ll feel all warm and fuzzy inside. You can choose to spoon either fully clothed or in the nude, but refrain from sexual intercourse. This type of affectionate display is just meant to bring the two of you closer together.

On weekend days when you both are not under any pressure to go to work or attend occasions, just lie together on the bed or whatever feels comfortable for you, and look into each other’s eyes. Don’t talk; just watch each other in silence. It might feel uneasy at first, [because according to research, married couple hardly look into each other’s eyes as they used to while newly married] you might be shy about it, or feel exposed, out in the open, but it’s a great exercise for really bonding on a subconscious level also. Doing this, you and your partner will soon rediscover the richness of your unspoken communication and the way your eyes speak to each other without uttering one single word. There are varieties of these; husband, you can sit with your back against the wall of your room or a garden chair and have your wife put her head on your chest and wrap her arms around you. Share this embrace for few minutes. Close your eyes, listen to each other’s breathing, feel each other’s warmth, feel your hearts beat. She can pass her fingers up and down your back, while you can stroke her shoulders, neck, face and hair. These mutual embraces send the message of being reciprocally taken care of, which is a great deal as far as intimacy is concerned. Please husbands, note that most time your wives put their heads on your chests or shoulders and rub your back or body, they do not necessarily want sex but bonding. They want to feel you belong to them; they want to reassure themselves that such moment is exclusively for them and no one should share such moment with them.

Another variation of this is for husband to lie on his back on the bed and have your wife lower herself gradually on top of you, from head to toe. Don’t worry, it’s not uncomfortable, and it’s surprisingly efficient. Holding her whole body against yours, you are like you are in control, and she’ll feel like she can depend on you no matter what. The benefits are not only psychological, but physical because this position is extremely relaxing for the spine. This is not only a good roadmap to a splendid sex but eventually leads to good passionate sex.

Active penetrative sex can also be done while amusing your wife; you don’t have to be too serious, just start by gently pushing her against the wall, start kissing her quietly while placing your right hand on her thigh and slowly lifting it up till you could feel her soft inner genitals then start massaging it slowly. Then move your hand right deeper into her genital area, placing your thumb and index finger on the clitoris making sure that the clitoris is in between your thumb and index finger. Continue with the massaging and while massaging the clitoris, your middle finger should be busy driving in and out of the inner genital in a smooth manner.

While still kissing her, you can slowly move her closer to the bed and on getting to the bed, gently push her on it, then pull away from her, go down a bit and pull her panties off, with your wet tongue start licking the inner genital, make her open her legs wide as your tongue keeps massaging her clitoris. Simultaneously keep on rubbing her clitoris till she feels like pushing you off. While this is going on, you can then insert your middle finger deeper into her inner genital and finger her in a slow but romantic manner while your other hand should be tapping on her erected nipples. Then lift her up in a sitting position making her hold on your own genital and caress it or suck it.

Phone Addiction: Your smartphone may be a source of pain

Back pain is any pain along the back, most especially along the spine and the waist. Though it affects people of all ages, it is a common complaint among adults between the ages of 40-60.

However, experts warn that times have changed, as more younger people now complain of back ache. They blame the increasing prevalence of the condition among younger adults between the ages of 15- 30 on the emergence of devices such as tablets, computers and of course smart phones.

According to orthopaedic specialist, Dr. Chris Omolola, these gadgets are equipped with various social media and networking platforms which encourage habits such as long hours of texting, chatting, pinging- activities which compromise the position of the spine and some joints.

Omolola states that research shows that more than 40 per cent of young adults currently complaining of back, neck or shoulder pain, do so because of the long hours they spend hunched over smart phones, tablets and other gadgets sending texts, pinging and chatting with friends and messing around with phone applications.

“I see more young people with back pain. Not mild pain but severe back pain that they cannot sleep well or concentrate due to the pain. When they come, the first thing I ask them is: ‘How many hours do you spend on your phone chatting or pinging?’ I ask them if they are active on Facebook or Twitter. If they say so, I know that is most likely where the pain is coming from.

“While you are doing these activities , you are most likely to be slouching or hunched over, a poor posture that strains the nerves and muscles of the spine, the shoulder and neck. After a while, the ligaments between your joints begin to suffer. And because it has no physical symptoms , you pay little or no attention to it. Before you know, it is a constant pain in your back. “

Also, British chiropactor( bone specialist), Tim Hutchell, notes that the head-down position that most people assume when they look at phones and iPads strains the muscles in the neck and the back. This pain, he adds, extends all the way down to the spine and lower back,

“The head down position is especially bad for you if you are using them for hours because your body will eventually start to adopt this hunched position. Your posture gets worse every day with their prolonged use or will I say abuse,’ he said.

Adults too are not exempted from the effects of technology. Omolola says that 40 per cent of the causes of back and neck pain among adults is usually work-related.

Omolola states that they suffer back , neck and shoulder pain due to their sitting position and sedentary habits at work.

He notes that everyday activities like sitting at the computer for long, which most desk jobs in the 21st century require, tell on the spine and the bones of the back.

Omolola says, “ Most adults working in offices in this 21st century spend more than six hours sitting with their computer, and some spend another three staring, slouching at other screens like the television, making nine hours. That is how long the average adult spends hunched over or slouched in front of a screen each day.

smartphone
“People with these lifestyles will have poor spine health because they are likely to do these activities with a poor posture. It is a sedentary posture that does nothing for the spine.”

He attributes other causes of back pain to work-related stress, lack of physical exercise and poor choice of foot wear.

Technology is not going away any time soon; that is for sure. So what can you do to save your poor spine from aches?

Experts say a three-minute exercise routine every three hours for those that work at the computer could help improve their posture and prevent back pain.

For those who just have to sit for long at computers, they advise that they should adjust their seats so their computer monitor is at the eye level, and the arms and knees are bent at a 90-degree angle, with the feet resting on the floor.

In the short term, for temporary relief from back, neck or shoulder pain ask your pharmacist to recommend an over-the-counter painkiller.

But on the long run, here are some tips that can help to prevent gadget-related pain in the neck, shoulder and the back.

- If you’re sitting down while using your mobile, smartphone or laptop, change your position on a regular basis and stretch your arms, shrug your shoulders and move your fingers around to keep the muscles more relaxed (avoid sitting in the same position for more than 40 minutes).

- If you need to carry a laptop, get a school bag or the normal rucksack laptop case and carry it on both shoulders. Adjust the straps so that the bag is held close to your back.

- Don’t carry too many items in your bag all the time – only pack what you need each day.

Does genital piercing enhance sexual performance?

I have received several mails and messages from couples wanting to know if genital piercing actually enhances good sexual performance. A particular wife said her husband prefers her to wear her wedding ring on the tip of her clitoris rather than the second index finger on her left hand.

Genital piercing among some particular set of men and women is seen as a form of body adornment. They argue that it is similar to other, more visible types of body piercings like the ear, nose or lip piercing.

In genital piercing, a needle is used to make a hole into the desired part of the genitals and a piece of jewellery is attached to the body by threading it through the hole. Most times because the piercing is usually carried out around the genital areas, it is not advisable to go for such but for the sake of those that feel they are under marital obligation to perform such procedure, it is advisable not to have a piercing done at places where only piercing gun is used. This is simply because the piercing gun comes with a lot of health risk.

One of the most common types of female genital piercings is done on the clitoris. This kind of piercing typically takes four to six weeks to heal. The clitoris itself is seldom pierced directly. But most women’s clitoris is not large enough to support jewellery. Also, there is a very high risk of nerve damage if the clitoris is pierced. Some piercing is done to the outer or inner lip of the vagina.

One of the most common male genital piercings is the Prince Albert type, a ring is inserted through the urethra at the tip of the penis and then out through the bottom of the glans of the penis, which is the rounded head. After the piercing heals, the ring increases sensitivity of the pierced area, enhancing sexual pleasure for some men. Sometimes the upper side of the head of the penis, the foreskin or the rim of the glans on circumcised men could also be pierced, but it has been discovered that these other types make intercourse difficult. Another one is carried out on the scrotum. This piercing is considered more decorative than a sexual enhancement.

First and foremost let us look into the daily maintenance routine. When you pierce your genitals, it’s important not to handle or let others handle the genital while it is healing. Sometimes you may have to stay off work or business till it is permanently healed. While the piercing is undergoing healing process, you must always wash your hands before touching or cleaning the genital area, and you have to make sure your defecation is not done with straining. You must avoid sexual intercourse for at least two weeks after a piercing. When you do have sex, you must always clean the pierced area with saline solution afterward to prevent infection. If you are a man, you must use a condom or other barrier protection. When engaging in sexual activity, always to prevent it from injuring your wife. If the piercing is located near the urethra, you have to always clean the area prior to urination and rub it with some baby oil. Remember that infections can occur at the site of the piercing even after it has healed due to vigorous thrusting in and out. Bacteria can enter under the skin at that point. So you must always watch for signs of infection such as redness, swelling, discharge, bad smell, some rashes at or around the piercing site and fever.

Are there risks associated with genital piercings? Yes there are, as a matter of fact, health professionals point out that the practice is not without risk and should not be considered lightly. The most common complications associated with genital piercing include bacterial infection, bleeding, nerve damage, allergic reaction to the jewellery and thick scarring at the piercing site. There is also a potential risk of hepatitis B and C as well as HIV/AIDS, sexually transmitted diseases. Particularly with male piercings, there is a risk of narrowing of the urethra as a result of scar tissue. Impotence is also a potential risk if the needle mistakenly pierces the erectile tissue. It has been observed that many years after the procedure is carried out, many people who got pierced always show sign of regrets and discouragement. People with chronic medical conditions should seek medical advice about piercing beforehand. And if you have to pierce any part of your genitals, the piercing should always be done by a licenced professional. I am sure you may likely want to think twice before going for genital piercing.

No substitute for sex

Because sex has the potential to be the most profound satisfying and rich part of a marriage union, its place and position can never be substituted. Sex is a mysterious and sacred act that knits a couple together in ways that are beyond description. Sometimes words fail when I try to describe the oneness that a husband and wife feel after giving their bodies to each other in all erotic ways. Whenever I teach couples about sex in conferences or in my office, the atmosphere in the room changes because of its uniqueness. Some couples cannot wait to hear me talk openly about a topic that is often not discussed. Others are very curious while others are very sceptical. To them, the topic is forbidden, unmentionable and taboo; something not to be discussed in the public.

However, not until the married couples embrace the fact that in their union there is no substitute for sex, their marriage will still be gravely affected in a negative way. Studies have shown that married couples who embrace sex with a positive attitude and place sex in its rightful position in the union have the best, most satisfying life together. They enjoy sex more often and have the highest levels of physical and emotional fulfilment. 88 per cent of such couples receive great physical wellness. I am sure you want to know why.

Having sex and orgasm increases levels of the hormone oxytocin in the body, the love hormones, and this helps couples bond and build trust. A recent evaluation of 59 pre-menopausal women before and after passionate sex with their husbands found that the more sexual intercourse, the higher the oxytocin levels. Oxytocin allows us to feel the urge to nurture and to bond. Higher oxytocin has also been linked with a feeling of generosity. That explains why husbands can release any amount of cash to their wives whenever they are sexually fulfilled. Therefore, if you are feeling suddenly more generous toward your spouse than usual, oxytocin is in the air.

Boosting self-esteem and immunity was one of 237 reasons people have sex, as observed by sex therapists. Good sexual health may mean better physical health. Having sex once or twice a week has been linked with higher levels of an antibody called immunoglobulin A or IgA, which can protect you from getting colds and other infections. Oxytocin released during orgasm promotes sleep, according to research. In addition, getting enough sleep has been linked with a good sex. On the average, the human heart beats 70 times per minute but during orgasm, the heart races at 115 beats per minute, which puts the heart in a healthier position. During sex, the body makes use of 100 muscles to produce orgasm while it takes 17 muscles to smile. This indicates that those muscles are not only active but do not depreciate. Brilliant sex produces satisfying orgasm, and orgasm releases chemicals that curb appetite so high-quality sex helps spouses to lose weight.

Sex relieves stress and it lowers blood pressure. Married women who had intercourse had better responses to stress than those who engaged in other activities or abstinence and frequent sexual intercourse has been associated with lower diastolic blood pressure. One way to make your wife look healthy and less stressful is to give her a hug after sex, this drastically removes constant nagging headaches, increases radiant skin glow, makes her cope with life issues better. It makes her more accommodating, willing to help, warm, tender, affectionate and caring. It helps her to be a better cook.

Did you know that just thirty minutes of sex between couples burns 85 calories or more? Sex is a great form of exercise. Sex improves cardiovascular health. When some older couples worry about the effect of the energy expended during sex could cause stroke, I tell them that it is not so because scientists found out that frequency of sex was not associated with it. Having sex twice or more a week reduced the risk of fatal heart attack by half in men, compared with those who had sex less than once a month. Cold shower can increase the production of sex hormones in men and women. Having sex under a cold shower is not only romantic but medicinal.

Sex reduces prostate cancer risk. Frequent ejaculations and not masturbation-induced, especially in 20 year-old and above men may reduce the risk of prostate cancer later in life, Australian researchers reported in the British Journal of Urology International.

Sex strengthens pelvic floor muscles. For wives, doing a few pelvic floor muscle exercise known as Kegel during sex offers a couple of benefits. Men enjoy more satisfaction, women enjoy more pleasure, it strengthens the area and helps minimise the risk of incontinence, backaches, fatty big tummy and hysterectomy later in life. To do a basic Kegel exercise, tighten the muscles of your pelvic floor, as if you are trying to stop urine flow. Count to three, then release.

When sex is given its proper place and priority, its benefits can never be over-emphasised. Do not put anything in the place of sex. If you do, the emptiness it will create will be very noticeable.

QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

Unnecessary sweating during and immediately after sex

I have a unique problem and it is scary. I noticed an excessive sweating especially from my palms, feet and one side of the face and lower part of my abdomen immediately after sex even when the air-condition is on or even when I have sex under the rain. Initially I thought it would stop but it increases as I grow old, the only time I don’t experience this is whenever I don’t have sex.

Matins Yenufor

Men have a higher sweat output than women. But if you always need to wipe your hands, nose of sweat extremely with clothes, especially after or during sex, it may be more than a “guy” thing. It could be excessive sweating which means that you sweat far more than your body needs you to sweat, the body’s cooling mechanism is so overactive that it produces four or five times the amount of sweat that you need. Although heat, ragging emotions, stress can trigger excessive sweating, it is more common in people who are overweight or out of shape. The good news is that most cases of excessive sweating are harmless. But it can also be a warning sign of thyroid problems, diabetes or infection, heart or lung disease, menopause, certain high blood pressure drugs, medications taken for diabetes, and sometimes even a stroke. If you are worried about how much you sweat, make a decision to see a doctor for a medical diagnosis.

How safe are sexual enhancing drugs?

I am a diabetic patient; I am also on some anti- hypertensive drugs. Recently, I discovered a poor sexual performance due to my medical conditions. But ironically, I love sex; I can’t do without it. I attach great importance to sex. I have some medications from the hospital that will enhance my sexual performance but my question is; are there downsides to synthetic drugs for good erection?

Mr. Kalikow Sunday

Well, the downside to these products is that there are side effects. For example, men that have certain high blood pressure disorders and are taking erectile drugs that have nitrate substance may have problem if they mix these synthetic anti-erectile drugs with the high blood pressure drugs. Such people can experience a sudden drop in their blood pressure and have a serious complication. This is why men, who take some of these synthetic drugs may [if during or after having sex] suddenly have chest pains or a heart attack.

Does constant watching of pornography promote a good marital relationship?

I was beginning to hate sex with my man until we began to watch pornography. Without that, we cannot have worthwhile sex. This is not helping me at all. My question is, don’t you think pornography could harm a good marital relationship?

Mrs. Joan Ifeayan

If both of you can watch an educative, informative, sexually explicit movie together with the aim of improving on your sexual performance, it is not a bad idea. Women actually love romantic stories while men seem to get aroused just by seeing two people having sex. If either of these forms the basis of arousal for a couple, it is still not a bad idea. But when couples or a partner becomes hooked on such and it is obvious such partners can’t be aroused or have an erection without watching these sexually explicit movies, then there seems to be a problem that may need to be addressed fast.

BY FUNMI AKINGBADE

The Best Sex Positions For Ultimate Orgasm

This is your guide to top sex positions that will greatly enhance your orgasm. Try them tonight.
Orgasm during sex means more to a woman than men. This is the whole truth. It is quite a pity that most women do not get to this all important act of sex simply because their men do not know how to take them there or maybe the position they employ hamper the achievement of orgasm.

Be that as it may, we have highlighted 7 sex positions you should employ to get to cloud 9. These have been tested and trusted to help you reach a mind blowing orgasm every single time.

The Slow Climb Orgasm
The slow climb position is a modified missionary position but we guarantee, you will never see the missionary position the same way again.
Method: While on your back, put a pillow under your butt, lift your hips, and bring your legs up and back toward your shoulders, as though you’re folding in half. This move allows your hubby better ease of thrusting and deeper penetration, a plus for both of you, because it can also stimulate your G-spot.

But consider this a warm-up – you’re getting the zone primed for a more intense orgasm. Once your G-spot feels sufficiently stroked, put your legs down and have him get into coital-alignment-technique (CAT) position.

In this method, he is on top, but he lifts his pelvic bone upward, aligning it with your clitoris. He then rocks against the area until you peak. The legs-up position is a slow burn that brings you to the brink and increases sensitivity.
The Doggie-Style Orgasm
Hey, we are not talking about the regular doggy-style you are all too familiar with. While mentally the doggie-style position has great bad-girl benefits, in order to make it actually orgasmic, you need to modify it a bit.
Method: Lie on your stomach, lifting your butt slightly so he can enter you from behind. Your partner can then prop himself up with his hands in a push-up position or lie on top of you.
Not only does this face down configuration provide increased friction as he moves in and out, but you can gently grind your clitoral area against the bed as well.

Criss-Cross Applesauce Orgasm
This position is a cross between the doggy style and the spoon.
Method: While you’re on your back, your man lies on his side, turned toward you. Swing both legs over his hips and thighs, making a bridge over them. Then, just let him gently thrust into you. If it takes you a while to climax, this pose is ideal. It’s not very aerobic, so the sex can go on for a long time without either of you tiring out. When you want to climax, it’s easy to touch yourself or he can use his hand to stimulate you.
The Giddy-Up Orgasm
Girl-on-top tends to be a go-to for achieving orgasm -and for good reason too- but the giddy up position tops it.

Method: Your man sits on a raised seat while you sit astride him, riding him. Since you are doing the work, it allows you to dictate the pace and depth of thrusting, but mainly, you have easy access to your clitoris too. You can touch your G-spot, have him touch it, or rub against his pubic bone to achieve orgasm.

But you can up the ante by literally pulling a 180. Twist around so you’re pointed toward his feet in reverse cowgirl position.

Instead of straddling him, put your legs together, feet flat between his legs. The benefits of this are twofold: with your legs together, the fit is even tighter, making the sensations more intense. Plus, there’s increased G-spot stimulation, which combined with your own clitoral strokes, makes for an explosive orgasm.
Torrid Tabletop Orgasm
This is best practised in the kitchen or dining room. You know, in some cases, a simple change of scenery can aid in achieving orgasm.
Method: For this move, you’ll need a kitchen table, one that comes to your man’s waist. Lie down on the table with your butt near the edge. He enters you while standing between your legs, holding on to your hips for leverage. You can rest your feet on his shoulders or on the edge of the table.
Because he’s standing, his hands are free to stroke your body. And he’s at a perpendicular angle, rather than right on top of you, making it easier for him to touch your clitoris, unobstructed. To up your odds of orgasming, clench and lift up your butt, which will increase the pelvic tension and blood flow to the area.
The Lap Dance Orgasm
This is a modern version of the giddy up position.
Method: Here, he sits and you straddle him, so you’re face-to-face. You have a lot of control over the speed, angle, and motion because you can use your arms and legs to help you maneuver. Rather than just moving up and down, which can be especially tiring for you, sway forward and back, rubbing your clitoral area against him.
In addition to the freedom of movement, there are a few other benefits to this booty move. If you lean back just a little bit, you’ll get greater G-spot stimulation and he’ll be able to play with your clitoris. Plus, your breasts will be perfectly aligned with his mouth, adding a whole other layer to the sexual experience.
The Spooning Orgasm
Obviously, you know emotional attachment is essential to achieving orgasm with your guy. And there’s no configuration that’s more snuggly than the spoon.
Method: To assume the position, simply lie on your side, your guy scooted up behind you. Rather than move in and out, he should stay inside you, gently thrusting against the front wall of your vagina. Aside from fulfilling your cuddly needs, it provides consistent stimulation to your G-spot, which is key for achieving orgasm from intercourse. Since he may not be able to penetrate you as deeply though, guide his hand around your hot spot.


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